Sunday, July 29, 2007

The baby whisperer

I like to think of myself as a chilled out kind of parent, you know, the type that effortlessly gets around and about with a baby dangling casually off their hip - pooh poohing strict routines and other new fangled parenting theories....however I've realised it's not true. In fact I've realised that I am quite the opposite - I am the epitomy of the worried neurotic mother.

Take last night for an example - I fed Ivy and as she started to drift off in my lap into a deep slumber Ed and I talked about how we would stick her in bed and then we could all head off for an early night. I restrained from doing the happy dance at the thought of some extra sleep and sat with Ivy like an unexploded bomb in my lap waiting til I thought she was deeply asleep. The lights went off, we headed to our room and I lowered my little darling into her basinette relishing the thought of being in bed myself in a few seconds. As I lay her down suddenly Ivy's eyes popped wide open, she looked around and gave me a sneaky little smile. ARGHHHHH! Pannicked we decided we would try turning off the lights, ignoring her and getting into bed anyway and see if she could be convinced to sleep.

Ed hopped into bed, joined by Chloe finally followed by me. Chloe settles to sleep down purring away as I lay rigid on the bed, fully clothed not wanted to get comfortable lest I should be ripped out of bed as Ivy yelled out, and too scared to speak to Ed. I lie like a coiled spring barely breathing. I can hear Ivy making all sorts of funny little noises, sighing, grunting, gurgling, kicking her little legs and arms. I wait for the inevitable cry - tense as can be. Ten minutes later I am still in the same pose, assuming Ed is doing the same when suddenly I hear a huge snore and a contented sigh. Eduardo, far from doing the neurotic thing is so supremely relaxed he has just passed out and is sleeping the sleep of the innocent. I continue to lie there waiting for Ivy to rip me from my bed with her cries any second now. My arm, lying in an awkward position has gone to sleep, I am cold and my neck is sore..........I continue to wait - Chloe purrs next to me and Ed is snoring like a train. After waiting some more I realise that bloody Ivy is asleep too and that the only person torturing themselves and lying awake with eyes like saucers is, ME.

I ask Ed in the morning how he could relax enough to go to sleep when there was a good chance he would be woken up and he just smiled and said "oh I just knew she would go to sleep, I wasn't worried at all". It seems I obviously need to take a leaf out of all their books and chill out - bloody cats, kids and men, why are they all so supremely relaxed will I do all the worrying for them?

Three in a bed - some mornings are so cold at the moment we just have to make like hilbillies and all get into bed together. For those that don't approve of cats and babies in bed together, please don't call the authorities.


Blogger torshy said...

Ha! You've just described my entire life (although I don't have a baby, cat or serene partner). It seems that the more you up the worrying those arund you turn down their worry radar until they're so chilled they can, say, go to sleep with the threat of a screaming bundle waking them any second. On a slightly less dramatic scale, we had a work dinner last week and I was a bit worried no-one would get along, cause we have a few new people. Consequently I spent most of the night looking anxiously around me and making sure everyone was haveing a good time, whcih of course led to me sitting on my own talking to a glass of beer (I exaggerate slightly) while everyone else laughed uproariously and shared sex stories.

3:49 AM  
Blogger Kate said...

Aha - that explains why Simon and Max were always so chilled out to the point of being catatonic in your company.

But does it also mean we are turning into our mothers?

10:16 PM  

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