Sunday, April 23, 2006

White Teeth

Since we've been back I have been indulging in a spot of good old Aussie TV watching. Christ, what a heap of crap it is, syncophantic chat show hosts slavering over a 5 minute interview with freak man Tom Cruise, scary reality remakes of shows from the US and UK, like Dancing with the stars and The Biggest Loser, and then there is the news. What is it about Australian newsreaders? Why do they like to read things like "A child was badly burned to death to day in Newcastle" in the same robot like jolly voice that they use for the last piece of news of the night "and now a clever cat that can count" - these tv people are like replicants.

Actually I think they are. Since I've been back it appears that anyone who appears on the telly in Australia seems to be tanned to perfection and sporting a set of rather unaturally bright white teeth. Has everyone been indulging in teeth whitening in my absence? I know it is rather popular with tourists in Thailand, has the same phenomena occured here in OZ? Or is it because I have spent a year in 3rd world countries where even having teeth seems to be a spot of luck on the looks scale?

Watching all these almost fluroescent white choppers gnashing on the screen is unsettling - I mean a little bit white is nice but to have teeth that are whiter than your eyes? Whiter than the shirt you are wearing? It scares me.


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