The devil wears Pumpkin Patch
Many mornings Ivy will take me by the hand, lead me up the hall into her room and indicate she wants me to lift her up onto her change table (for a birds eye view) she then gestures towards her tall boy which is my cue to open the drawers as she shouts instuctions.
"Dis, dis, dis one dare" she mutters. I pick up a crumpled blue skivvy and show her. "NO NO NO NO NO!" she shrieks. "Dat, dat, dat" I hold up a pair of jeans "NO NO NO NO NO NO!" and on it goes until we have amassed what she thinks will make a suitable outfit for the day.
Often this can be several skirts, no top and something random like two purple socks that she will insist on putting on her hands like gloves. The skirts are wrestled on one on top of the other and then when she realises that she had no top she shouts at me for a bit longer, refusing to put on an actual top til I relent and pull one of the dresses up under her armpits giving the outfit a lovely, not so form flattering Xmas tree effect.
Once the basics are done it's time for accessories - a pair of sneakers or perhaps some hideous sparkly purple plastic crocs. Top this little ensemble off with a pink Dora the Explorer sunhat (that she stole from her childcare centre cause we've been avoiding buying her anything that makes her an advertising board for Disney, Pixar etc etc) and we're done. Ready to face the world....
Suddenly I'm overwhelmed with a desire to stay home and perhaps play inside the house, maybe with all the blinds down. On one such occassion Ivy was happy to do this and then flicked through a trashy celebrity mag I had nicked from work and picked out the outfits that she liked - noting which ones were for her (basically anything pink or purple) but was generous enough to point out a few slutty hideous looking ones for me too. A delightful mother and daughter bonding session.
As a fellow mother of a two year girl who also likes to choose her own clothes said "It's great she wants to dress herself but it's just she's got no idea about good taste." And perhaps this is where the great generational fashion divide between mothers and daughters begins - because according to the toddlers the no taste look is all the rage. Who knows, perhaps my little Anna Wintour will be influencing thousands of women in the future to wear 3 skirts at once and socks on their hands?