Monday, April 30, 2007

Photographic infidelity

I've been at it again. If it wasn't enough that I 'cheated' on Ed with my male model husband in a photo shoot a couple of months ago I just succumed to the charms of yet another photographic spouse a few minutes ago here at work. At the request of our photographer I found myself unable to deny the lure of posing on a freshly cleaned carpet, all cosied up with a co-worker all domestic-like to be featured in one of the stories in our national magazine. Even weirder is that my co-worker was posing as himself while I was acting as a stand in for his real wife....I wonder what she will make of being portrayed by person she doesn't know from a bar of soap? (and a very pregnant one at that!)

As for Ed, it seems I have more photographs of me in a blissful domestic state with other men than with him. I kind of like it that way, though I'm sure my step-grandmother would disagree. She is none too happy about my marital status now I'm up the duff and told my mum that she hopes that Ed would "stand by me" in this situation even though we're not married. She also asked me if I would be putting his name on the birth certificate when the baby comes! Maybe I should show her the photos of all my other husbands and tell her I'll put down someone's name when I can manage to work out which one is the father. That'll keep her on her toes.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

When good plans have bad timing

It's always the way. Only recently Ed and I were talking about how in a few years we wouldn't mind relocating to Dubai for work for a little while. Twas all very sketchy and fuzzy but nevertheless it's always fun to have a bit of an overseas escape plan at the ready.

Ed tells a friend that also works in tv about our plan - without skipping a beat the friend replies "Do you want a job now? My company NEEDS someone right away".

I tell a friend at work who offers to put me in touch with her friend who is working there at the moment just so I can find out a little more about it for future reference. Her friends reply "Does she want to come now??? I desperately need a journalist".

How often does that happen in life? (in my industry just about never.)

Hopefully things will stay this peachy jobwise for the next year or two. I really can picture myself running amok in the deserts of the middle east.

Monday, April 16, 2007


When I first got up the duff I read reams of material about how pregnant women suddenly become public property and how I should ready myself for such a time once my own bump made itself obvious.

I'm quite foolish really as by public property I had assumed that everyone would want to touch me..something I'd heard about and didn't really mind happening - it's generally well meaning and rather nice. What I hadn't counted on in terms of being public property was the sheer, unbelivable amount of comments delivered to me in tones that one would think would be soley reserved for the coming of the next plague.

Well meaning folk seem to think that all of us pregnant people have absolutely NO idea what we've got outselves into now we are having a kiddie and that it's their unhappy duty to set us straight. The comments come thick and fast from all corners, I've lost tally of all of them but if I was to amalgamate all the predictions that have been delivered in my general direction, in less than a couple of months I will be something like this - apparently permanently: A sleepless, mindless, careerless, sexless blob covered in vomit, financially destitute, frustrated, incapable of reading, enjoying music, holding a conversation, holding a job, I will be bereft of ambition, unable to travel ever again or in fact even have the ability to leave the house, not that the house will be habitable as apparently everything in it will be systematically destroyed or will have to be removed cause it's too dangerous - how lovely. And apparently dear readers even this blog will become a casualty of the monster baby. Yes one relative informed me in doom laden tones
"you probably won't have time to blog anymore" oh no really? The horror!

Generally the doomsdayers like to start their prediction with a smug "you DO KNOW that......fill in blank with "never sleep again", "never travel again" "never read a book again" etc etc. In return I feel like saying "OH MY GOD - REALLY? Oh f**k, I thought having a baby would be really easy, just like having a kitten but more human shaped. Now you've told me the truth I'd better get Angelina Jolies phone number and arrange an adoption quick smart". Instead I'm well mannered, I laugh and shake my head and say something lame like "oh yes, I've heard it won't be easy, ha ha ha" But with just 8 weeks to go my patience is wearing thin.

I know it's well meaning and I'm sure that all of these predictions probably will come true at some stage for some of the time, but what I object to is this assumption that I am a complete idiot that needs to be told the truth before I think I can pop my baby into my handbag like one of Paris Hiltons Chihuahuas and head off without a care in the world. The thing that is even more infuriating is that many of these comments are delivered by people that A: don't have kids or B: had their kids about 100 years ago. While sometimes it's funny, it can also be stressful and at times downright cruel: a pregnant friend at work was in tears the other day after one too many of these kind of comments...normally she's a bright, confident, intellectual 36 year old who will probably make a fabulous parent but now she's doubting what she's got herself in for and wracked with anxiety thanks to all the well meaning doomsdayers.

For me, salvation arrived today in the form of an email from a friend who actually has a small baby girl right now. I hadn't mentioned this barage from other people but her comments about her own thoughts on parenthood were so refreshing. "I just love her to bits..... It's the most rewarding experience Katey...hard work but can't really put it into words how much fun it is. You'll know what I mean once the little one pops her head into this world. It really is the most special time of your life." Now this is from a woman who is in the thick of it, she probably IS sleepless and covered in vomit but she still managed to take the time to say something positive. It just amazes me how few other people feel they can do that. So in light of that, I know who I'll be taking my cues from in the future.

Easter eggs

John and Meg came over for lunch at Easter where Meg and I did our best to impersonate easter eggs. I think I score points for the festive green and white decoration of my 'egg' but Meg wins with her impressive egg that is due to appear any day now.

Monday, April 09, 2007

my not so ethical career

Hmmm just saw the results of a Gary Morgan poll this morning about which careers the public perceives to be 'more ethical' than others. Nurses were right up there at the top, fair enough. As were doctors, teacher and oddly dentists.

So where does my chosen career sit within the ethical pecking order? It seems that the dear old public think that us journalists are even LESS ethical than politicians, car salespeople, REAL ESTATE AGENTS and Insurance brokers. Jesus! We only just rated slightly higher than shock jock radio announcers at the slimy murky bottom end of the ethical pool. While I'd like to say that it's trashy so called current affairs shows like "today tonight' and their dodgy reporters who are bringing down the tone of my career neighbourhood and pulling in these poor figures I can't. Y'see dear old Joe public actually thinks that TV journalists are more ethical than us print people. Yeah - I'd be trusting those tooth whitened be-suited sharks jamming their toes in peoples doorways, chasing ambulances and reporting on dodgy builers and fat kids anyday.

I just dunno what to think this rate I may as well become a real estate agent. At least then I'd be rich.