Snot and Vomit

In the last week I have been vomited on 6 times....by two different children. Spew in my hair, spew down my top, all over my legs and one time right down to my bare feet. Mountains of japanese tofu flavoured vomit (thanks Ivy) to small stinky measured doses from Poppy on a semi regular basis everyday at the moment.

Then there's snot. Poppy has had a cold for a month now, and if my experience with Ivy at a similar age is anything to go by this cold will last until approximately June 2012. Everyday I go in to get her out of the cot and am greeting by a little face that looks like a glazed donut. I then spend the day trying to balance the gross out factor of others seeing her with two green slugs coming out of her nose and trying to wipe it away with the severe screaming and crying that this induces in Poppy which just causes more snot anyway.

Currently I am wearing a cardigan that has several layers of dried snot on it. I don't really see any point washing it or getting changed as our water bill is already horrendous from all the washing we seem to be doing.

So I am sitting here in my snot covered cardigan listening to my daughter trying to fall asleep in between almost choking to death with her terrible cough and I come across a few comments on a news website about the potential cutback to the childcare rebate. Several commentators (who I would have thought would know better) have made snide comments about "yummy mummies who do yoga and have coffee."

What I have to say to that is rather than deriding these women, you should be falling at their feet and worshipping them as goddesses with superpowers. Frankly, any woman who has a baby or a small child who can manage to look semi yummy and get out of the house for a coffee is a bloody legend - it has probably been a herculean effort on her part to do so and possibly will be the only part of her day where things are going well. No doubt an hour later she too will be at home with vomit in her hair and maybe a bit of snot too, but of course those who judge won't be there to witness that bit.

And this is where yet again mothers cop it no matter what they do. If we headed out of the house in our crusty snotty pajamas with snotty vomity kids we would be castigated as lazy and slovenly and will have 'let ourselves go.' If we manage somehow to look semi decent and give the appearance that we have it together suddenly we are lazy bitches who do nothing but have coffee all day and don't deserve any kind of social services support.

Of course what I find fascinating is that if you see a dad out with his kids....he will be hailed as a deadset legend - snot covered or otherwise.