Chubby Cheeks

It's true...my darling daughter does have chubby cheeks, in fact if you view her from above her cheeks are actually wider than her head. As I carried Ivy through a cafe with a bunch of other mums and babies the other day I heard this comment from a far flung table as it was carried past on the wind "chuuuuuubby cheeeeeeeeeks." No prizes for guessing which baby they were talking about.

The mulberries cometh

Who ever coined the term 'as boring as bat shit' hasn't been to my house lately........ our backyard holds the biggest mulberry tree in the history of this planet. When Ed and I moved in last year we were charmed by it's magical faraway tree-like qualities. Its branches covered the back garden, lush green leaves waving in the late summer breeze. 'Oh and we'll get fruit to eat' we said, yummy mulberries. We can have silkworms!

Then the berries arrived, thousands upon thousands of them. Suddenly the mulberries were not so cute. They didn't taste as nice as I remembered as a kid, and after a week our backyard is unusable - the whole yard smells like rotting fruit and the washing line is now out of bounds for the next 8 weeks. Ed and I look like serial killers as our cream bathroom tiles are covered in purple and red smears, Chloe has purple paws and even Ivy has had a patch of the dreaded purple juice on her from time to time.

Everyday birds come from everywhere to feast on the berries and at night our place becomes some kind of fruit bat paradise as the bats gorge themselves on the berries. This is where the bat shit problem comes in. Bats eating too much fruit means bats pooing purple poos all over my cream coloured house, windows, skylights and whatever laundry I had managed to hang out of the way of the berries. Boring it is not let me tell you. I cannot wait for mulberry season to be over and I can only guess whoever coined the boring as batshit term also must have made up the saying 'sleep like a baby' - lies, all of it lies!

Dads today

It's funny how much things can change in a generation.....

When Ivy was first born several times we asked the more elderly men in our respective families if they would like to hold her. Most looked scared, horrified or totally ill at ease before saying 'no thanks' or 'I've never really held a baby'.

Cut to the men of today. As I wander the streets of my suburb I always love to check out the dads. When I stop at a cafe to order a coffee I see a very macho looking Italian guy sitting with a macchiato and a tiny little girl in pink, who he delicately helps spoon the froth from her babycino into her mouth. At the supermarket a tradie looking guy in shorts and work boots is lugging three huge bright pink boxes of nappies on the roof of a stroller. In Norton street two groovy looking guys order coffee in a cafe whilst parking their space age strollers containing toddlers. In the park more dads can be seen with little tackers on their shoulders, in prams or cradled in their arms.

And the thing Dads seem to love the most is the baby sling or pouch. While most mums are happy to push around a stroller it seems that dads love to have the baby dangling from their chest - I've lost count of how many guys I see each weekend strutting around proudly with a baby hanging from their chest. Not sure why they love it so much....or than again do I? Whenever Ed takes Ivy out like that he is showered with compliments from strangers about 'how good he is'. He also gets a lot of winning smiles from the ladies and I have to admit I am always smiling at other men with babies. So forget a dog, perhaps these days babies are the ultimate attention getting accessory when you are a guy.

Ivy versus Chloe

Out of these two rather beautiful ladies who share this home with me and Ed...which one do you imagine causes the most trouble?

This one?

Or this one?

To help you out I'll give you a hint. One of them is responsible for waking me regularly at 3am needing attention. This same character is also known for waking me and Ed at the crack of dawn crying her head off and wanting to be fed. She is also clingy, rarely lets me out of her sight and makes it difficult for me to get anything done. Oh she also regularly makes a mess by vomiting.

If you guessed Ivy......you'd be totally wrong. It's Chloe. Ivy is a dream.....however my feline 'baby' is proving to be quite the demanding one of late. My advice? If you're thinking about getting a cat, have a baby. It's easier.