Saturday, March 21, 2009

I'm back

Just like those well intentioned new gym goers and exercisers (as mentioned in my earlier post) after a spurt of activity I have settled back into my bad blog avoiding ways. Yet a quick message from across the seas afar has pointed out my slackness and put me back on track - well at least for today. (Jan you should be some kind of motivational coach...or perhaps its the high school teacher in you : )

SO, plenty has happened in the last few months. One of the weirdest and most exciting things was Mr Edward Holmes and I got hitched. Never one to be a bridezilla the wedding was a bit of a shambles but as a friend put it "yeah but it's a beautiful shambles" kind of great compliment really.

We all survived the afternoon / evening / early morning but here are some learnings I've gained that I would like to share with anyone with bridal leanings.

* Try not to pick a day that weather-wise will end up being on the front cover of the paper. Our wedding day clocked the unprecedented and most umpleasant record breaking high of 42 degrees.....yes that's about 107 in the old temperature. This meant on the day in question most people were melting like wax dummies. It also meant that we set a record at our non airconditioned venue in question by clocking up the biggest bar bill they have ever had for a function of that size. (yeah!)

* Don't be at your own wedding as the guests arrive: I thought in the spirit of being casual Ed and i would arrive at the same time as the guests (or a little before as we'd hoped until we got stuck in an underground car park for 15 minutes in Bondi)rather than do the spectacular bride and groom arrive and everyone gawks thing. This is a mistake - unless you enjoy trying to kiss hello 120 people whilst simultaneously trying to fix the sound system, chase after a toddler, find a spot to leave presents, deal with the caterers and a relative who decides that 4 minutes before the ceremony is a good time to want to discuss whether we would like her to get a pot plant out of her car and include it in the wedding ceremony for a blessing. Note: someone will always plant a massive red lipstick kiss on your carefully made up face and someone else will subject you to an affectionate but ultimately rugby-like hug that involves squishing and messing up your carefully arranged hair. One this note: the bridezillas have it people. Stay away from your own wedding guests until after you get hitched it's dangerous.

* Don't decide to have the photos taken at the venue. I also thought this would be a good idea thinking that the whole bride and groom go off for four hours to take photos on the beach whilst thristy hungry guests are left cooling their heels in a park somewhere was a bit thoughtless but it seems there is method to the madness. Doing it in front of 120 people who all want to give you drinks, kiss you some more, ask about pot plants, cover you in lipstick and follow the official photographer with their own cameras and videocameras whilst your softly spoken photog tries to get you to stand somewhere and look halfway normal doesn't work. result: slightly weird distracted shots of Ed and I looking in different directions at all the different lenses of the hundreds of cameras. bridezillas have it again - theres a reason your photographer wants to get you away and it's not to have the beach as a location.

* Don't let your mother see you in the dress you are wearing before the big day. This may result in her exclaiming brightly "oh that pattern on your dress makes it look like the top of your dress has slipped right down makes it look like you are wearing a bright yellow bra!" This will guarantee that you will go from loving to despising your new dress in 2 seconds flat and spend the big day pulling at it, racing to the bathroom to look in the mirror and scrutinising it for further visual faults and wishing that you had a potato sack to get changed into.

* Finally, don't let your father have one too many drinks and decide to have a deep and meaningful discussion with one of your new husbands friends at the very end of the night. Enough said.

that's enough of the don'ts here are a few dos.

* Do make sure you invite absolutely everyone you want and throw them all together on the big day. I was delighted to see totally random combinations of work mates, school friends, rellies and more all getting along like a house on fire.

* Do make sure you do what you want to do. Ed and I decided to ditch the boring speeches, the naff covers band and dedicate that time to some african drummers who got everyone into the spirit by bringing drums for everyone to play. I loved it and so did most of the guests. Although I caught the disapproving looks of a few who were obviously expecting babies breath and violins if it's your wedding you should do what you want to do.

* Do have a wonderful wedding celebrant - Ed and I were spoiled in this regard. The lovely Megan has known me since high school and Ed for the last 5 years and was all out show stoppingly fabulous. She was funny, she was warm and she totally struck the right note for the ceremony and worked really hard on putting it right (despite at times my and Ed's lack of enthusiasm.) Thanks Meagie, you are a star.

* Do have an excellent time and make sure you have friends that will too. Our guests rocked! From those who burned up the dance floor, drummed til their fingers bled, got naked in the car park, frolicked on the terrace, drank the bar dry and the one friend who shall remain nameless who staggered up to Ed at the end of the night and slurred "Thankschhh for having meeee, had a great noingt............Happy Birthday mate" and slapped him on the arm before staggering off into the night THANK you. It truly was an excellent and beautiful shambles.


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