Friday, January 09, 2009

How to be a working mother - lesson 101

When your mobile phone rings on your day off just after your cranky 18 month child has awoken from a nap.

Answer phone to discover it's a very senior player in the medical industry who has decided to share some very juicy information off the record for a story that you are writing.

Tell person on the phone politely you are not at work today and could you have a conversation on Monday in the office.

Person says yes but then continues to talk and talk about government submissions, scandals and dirt that is very compelling.

Maintain professional demeanour as your toddler starts grabbing your leg and trying to pull your pants down.

Say "yes yes - this sounds like a great initiative" whilst not really listening and trying to cut a piece of cheese for cranky toddler whilst trousers are around your ankles.

Continue to "mmmmm" and "yes" in an authoritative tone whilst toddler shrieks "no no no" and throws the cheese at the cat.

Absentmindedly give toddler a piece of chalk and a piece of paper to keep them occupied whilst still "yes-sing and mmmmm-ing" Realise toddler has gone in the other room and is now quiet. Good.

Continue to listen and catch up with what the caller is saying - realise that should be taking notes as this information is gold.

Walk into other room where toddler is to see that the good couch is now covered in blue chalk swirls. Mouth falls open in horror whilst still managing to sound knowledgeable.

Look at watch and realise said toddler was due at the doctor 5 minutes same time unpleasant smell is coming from the rear end of the toddler.

Try and get the chalk off the toddler whilst discussing Government regulation whilst toddler lashes out and shrieks "no no no".

Eventually plead with caller to send me an email before he launches into another 5 minute rant about topic.

Almost break neck trying to cradle phone hands free and change a nappy with spare hands.

Finally beg to get off phone and virtually hang up on caller.

Leave house - covered in blue chalk - wriggling toddler in tow with no idea what was discussed in the last 20 minutes and with an awful feeling I may have committed to something..........


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